


Every (Pizza) Dog Will Have His Day

by MotherOfBeardedDragons



Series: Petvengers [1]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Tower, Dogs, Gen, How Do I Tag, Humor, Lies and Deception, One Shot, Secret Missions, complete and utter fluff, possibly crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 20:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14244918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherOfBeardedDragons/pseuds/MotherOfBeardedDragons
Summary: Clint Barton needs the help of his friends and allies to pull off a top secret mission. Can they do it? What is the mission? Why is Clint scaling Avengers tower while drinking coffee? Will Frank shoot someone? Tune in to find out!





	Every (Pizza) Dog Will Have His Day

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn't take place anywhere specific in the MCU or Hawkeye comics timeline. The only things you need to know about the comics is that Clint rescues a dog named Lucky from Russian gangsters. Lucky is also known as Pizza Dog because...well, he loves pizza. Clint also is friends with Kate Bishop, who is also Hawkeye (it's a long story). 
> 
> I wrote this all for fun. It's ridiculous but I loved writing it. It wasn't beta'd.

   Clint Barton glanced around the corner to make sure the coast was clear as he used all of his agent/circus/ninja skills to stealthily make his way to the living room. Until he smacked into a box he had forgotten about in the hallway causing a huge crash. Clint cursed under his breath. He definitely needed coffee. He listened for a moment and sighed in relief when he heard soft snores coming from the bedroom. Fortunately its occupant could sleep through a bomb going off. Literally; they had slept through a bomb going off less than two blocks away about a year ago. Clint shook his head, focusing; he was on a mission.

   He carefully opened the drawer and pulled out a box. Its contents were of the utmost importance. Months of careful planning had gone into this mission so he couldn’t afford to mess it up. Today had to go off without a hitch. There was a lot depending on it. He grabbed his burner phone and made his way to the table. He deftly climbed on top and loosened the covering on the vent above him. He had done this many times. He didn’t want to risk the noise of his old creaky door opening. He was about to climb in when he remembered. Coffee.

   Clint noiselessly made his way around the kitchen and brewed a pot of black coffee. He could brew coffee in his sleep (he had, in fact, a couple of times). After about ten minutes he (somehow) managed to climb up into the vent with his phone, the box, and an entire pot of coffee.

   He exited the vent on the roof, made his way down the fire escape, and stuck to the alleyways as he made his way toward his destination. He pulled out his phone.

   “This is Barton. Mission is go.”

   “Roger. Target?”

   “Still unaware. ETA five minutes.”

   “Noted.”

   Clint hung up and picked up his pace. Timing was everything today. One delay or misstep and everything would be ruined. He had to trust everyone involved to keep up their side of things. They knew how important this mission was to him. He glanced around the corner and saw his destination: Avengers Tower (formerly Stark Tower).

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Natasha hung up the phone, glancing at the clock. So far so good. Clint had managed to make it out of his apartment unnoticed. She made her way out to one of the living rooms in the tower. She made sure her careful preparations were still in good condition. She couldn’t have anything fail- she had to trust her craftsmanship. She couldn’t let Clint down. She took out her phone and sent a text to their unlikely ally in this endeavor- Frank Castle. She had wondered why Clint had chosen him at first, but she knew Frank would pull through. He had to.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Frank looked through the scope. He saw Barton leave the apartment. He checked his watch and took a swig of coffee- everything was going according to plan. At first he had been hesitant to accept Barton’s request for his assistance. He wasn’t a team player; but once Barton described his plan and Frank’s role in it he knew it was too important to turn down. He packed his gun away and slung the case over his back. He wouldn’t use it unless he absolutely needed to. He crept over to Barton’s apartment and let himself in the window. He pulled a length of rope out of his bag- he would carefully have to restrain his target. He sighed and braced himself. Hopefully they would go willingly.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Clint paused to catch his breath. He was almost to the tower. Castle should be entering his apartment about now. That meant he only had a few minutes. He glanced at the front door of the tower. No time. He pulled out his compact bow and unfolded it, then shot a grappling arrow and started climbing. He paused by the eighth floor to finish his coffee. He glanced in the window and saw a Stark intern staring at him in confusion. He nodded and kept climbing. He finally made it to the fourteenth floor. He used a lock pick to unlock the window and swung in, crashing right into Kate Bishop- aka the other Hawkeye (aka the better Hawkeye according to some).

   “What the hell Clint?!” she exclaimed as she scrambled to grab her bag.

   Clint checked his watch. “Hurry up rookie, Castle will be here any minute. You know we have to be in position before then.”

   Kate sighed. This was getting ridiculous. They had rehearsed and gone over the plan at least six times in the last week. “I’m aware.” She looked at the empty coffee pot in Clint’s hand. “Were you drinking coffee while climbing the building?”

   “You weren’t?”

   “No, I came in the door like a normal person.”

   Clint ignored her, focused on the task at hand. Kate pulled out night vision goggles. The room was dark as they carefully navigated their way through Natasha’s setup. Clint carefully set the box in its intended spot. He could have brought it beforehand but he didn’t trust Stark not to tamper with its contents. Kate took her position by the door in the northeast corner of the room. Clint did a quick survey of the room and then rolled behind the couch. He had a perfect view of the front door. He was right where he wanted to be. He found the remote right where it was supposed to be. He turned on his communicator. He had bugged the hallway so he could hear anyone approaching.

   He heard heavy footsteps along with smaller quicker ones. Frank had managed to secure the target and get them to come along willingly. Perfect. Clint’s heart thudded in anticipation- this was it. All of the moments of hard work had led to this. The door opened. Clint grabbed the remote and pushed the button. The lights came on and everyone leapt from their spots.

**“Surprise!!!!!”**

   In the doorway stood the Punisher and an adorable yellow lab. Around the room were decorations as well as a giant banner exclaiming “Happy Birthday Lucky!” Clint had gone all out for Lucky’s third birthday.

   Of course he didn’t know when Lucky’s actual birthday was since he was rescued from Russian gangsters. But this was good enough. Clint smiled and approached his best friend, who looked absolutely thrilled to be the center of attention. Lucky saw Clint and bounded over, nearly knocking Clint down as he covered him in slobbery kisses.

   Clint regained his balance and grabbed the box. He opened it with a flourish. Inside was a specially crafted dog pizza complete with gravy sauce, dairy free cheese, bacon, and dog biscuit crust. The vet had told Clint to lay off giving Lucky so much pizza so he had this specially made up at a local dog bakery. He figured it must be pretty good since Lucky attacked it.

   He surveyed the room. Most of the Avengers were there and well as some of the Defenders. He saw Matt Murdock and Frank warily eyeing each other from across the room. Frank had his gun over his shoulder. God he hoped Frank hadn’t shot anyone. 

   Natasha was putting a birthday sash on Lucky, who had demolished the pizza. She had gone all out with the decorations. There were also some other animals in attendance. He saw Bruce’s pug over by the scientist as he talked to Thor, who had a koi fish in a specially designed portable tank. Steve had a frog in a small tank nearby. He saw Doctor Strange’s lizard on his shoulder curled up under the collar of his cloak. Weirdo.

Clint sighed contentedly. His plan had gone off perfectly.

   “Why the hell is there a grappling hook stuck in the side of my tower?.” Tony had appeared by his side holding a dog bone shaped glass. There was a bar set up serving dog themed cocktails.

   “I- uh- I needed to make a quick entrance.”

   “So you scaled my tower, hired a vigilante to kidnap your dog, stole equipment from SHIELD, and made everyone spend at least five hours rehearsing their roles all for your dog’s birthday party.” Tony stated dryly.

   Clint shrugged. “What can I say? ‘Every dog will have his day’ and today’s Lucky’s day.” Clint smiled and patted Lucky on the head as he made his way over.

   Tony sighed. “Whatever. At least there’s free booze. Just don’t blow up my tower for Lucky’s anniversary or anything.”

   “Pyrotechnics! Why didn’t I think of that? Hey, Tahsa do you still know how to make those bombs filled with glitter?...” Tony rolled his eyes as Clint wandered off. It may have been excessive, but it was a pretty damn good party. And Tony knew parties.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Later that evening Clint and Kate were drinking coffee at his kitchen table as Lucky napped on the couch exhausted from the day’s festivities. They looked at the papers scattered around the table including blueprints and government files. It was Bruce’s dog’s birthday in a couple of months. They needed to plan something spectacular. The scientist had looked a little nervous when Clint had told him he was planning a birthday party for his dog. He wondered why. He took a sip of coffee as he and Kate discussed the best way to quickly get a pug from the fifteenth floor of the tower to the ground where a band would be playing. He was thinking some sort of zipline.

  Lucky rolled over in his sleep dreaming about the day's events and delicious pizza.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had intended to write about Clint planning a surprise party for Lucky and then going overboard and turning it into a top secret mission. This is what resulted. Now I have a headcanon that Bruce owns a pug. I don't know where the hell it came from. Also I Mary Sued my bearded dragon into this as Doctor Strange's pet. I'm now considering writing a series about all the characters and their pets. The title is taken from the line from Hamlet. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed!


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